So again, I haven't blogged in a while. Due to the fact that I have 5kg dictator living in my house who takes up 90% of my time. The other 10% is split between cleaning up after said dictator, having follow ups at the horse piddle, Dr & specialist appointments, trying to get more than 4 hours sleep a day and the occasional brush of my hair and teeth with a shower thrown in. I'm not gonna lie to you, my husband is one lucky man. *sarcasm font*
My little boy born 11 weeks early and 900 grams has had the farthest thing from an easy journey. We have had numerous health issues due to his prematurity and he's been in a lot of pain for the majority of his tiny existence. It doesn't help that he also has a really determined, stubborn personality (definitely not from me..... *cough*) and can be a right little shit sometimes. He's decided that the latest fad is fighting naps - which works out well for both of us. *sarcasm font again* Add to that, the fact his guts has now deteriorated to the point that he won't poo unaided we have a little bundle of fucking joy on our hands.
Anyway....
It was almost to the day last year, I was just starting to grow this little terrorist and today is 15 days before the anniversary of when I found out that I was with child. So I thought I would write some advice to myself a year ago..... So here goes!
1. You've wanted a child for so long that you've fantasized it in your head. You don't know you have, but you have. Be prepared for when it doesn't work out like you thought it would. Not everyone has the same journey and that's OK. It doesn't make you a failure. It doesn't make your journey a failure. It just makes it different.
2. You know it's going to be hard. Multiply what you think is hard by about 10,000 and you're about a tenth of how hard it will actually be. You will find a strength within yourself you never knew you had. You will also see a strength in your husband that you never knew he had. It's hot. Go with it.
3. You think night shift has prepared you for the sleeplessness?! Oh you poor fool. The babies that sleep through the night at 3 weeks are few and far between and lady, the luck you've had? Well you've got Buckley's chance! Suck it up, it won't last forever. The sleeplessness will subside in the same amount that the baby-ness will, so choose which one you want to go faster.
4. When someone offers to help you, TAKE IT UP! Don't feel guilty, don't question it, just say thank you and go and do something for yourself. Like shower. It's been a couple of days and that old milk smell is ripe!
5. You will have a million and one pieces of advice from people who you think know what they're talking about. Take on board what they say, then do what works for you. Trust your instincts! They weren't kidding about 'mother's instincts'. You will just know. Most times you will be right.
6. Along those lines, if you think something is wrong, keep insisting until you're satisfied with the answer! Doctors don't know everything, and you spend 24 hours a day with your kid. You know when something is wrong. There's answers out there, sometimes you just have to act a little 'crazy tired new mum' to get them.
7. Your baby can't read books. He doesn't know what he's 'supposed' to do whatever you think he's supposed to do. So step away from Dr/Physio/OT Google. A little bit of information can be really dangerous.
8. Admitting that you're struggling doesn't make you a failure. It doesn't make the other mums who have 'easy' babies more successful. Comparing yourself to other mums, comparing your baby to other babies, it will just eat you up and make you sad. Just roll with it. It will be over before you know it and you'll wonder why you spent the last 10 years worrying about what everyone else was doing instead of enjoying your kid.
9. Finally - get some help a lot earlier than you think you need help. Who cares what others think? Who cares if it's unnecessary? Help is help. Stop being so proud you loser.
So in summation, motherhood is a fuckload harder than I thought/imagined/fantasized it would be. But you know what? There's help out there. Sometimes you just need to know where to ask for it.
PS Hats off to you single mummas, or mummas with husbands that work far away. Respect yo.
Cheers,
Qld Nurse.
9. Finally - get some help a lot earlier than you think you need help. Who cares what others think? Who cares if it's unnecessary? Help is help. Stop being so proud you loser.
So in summation, motherhood is a fuckload harder than I thought/imagined/fantasized it would be. But you know what? There's help out there. Sometimes you just need to know where to ask for it.
PS Hats off to you single mummas, or mummas with husbands that work far away. Respect yo.
Cheers,
Qld Nurse.
